Have you ever wondered what life would be like if we had no internet now? I know there is a lot of us who have lived without the internet & even without a computer. I know I have, but gosh to go the opposite direction & go from having it to NOT having it... feels like a hard thing to imagine. It is for me anyway.
I have just finished reading about Kellie Winnell & her 60day break from Facebook. You can read about it HERE. She was inspired to do this after reading another blog, where the woman was taking a 90day break! You can read about that HERE.
It made me realise that I too have the same problem. I spend nearly every minute of the day on the computer & on facebook either playing games or chatting. And it's not even really chatting, coz I never have the chat function on lol. It's just reading everyones statuses & being nosey & then occassionally replying to their comments or statuses. Gosh, I press "like" nearly every minute of the day.
Those who know me well enough (or those who read my status - you don't have to know me at all really. Weird really isn't it), will know that when I have no internet or power at home for a period of time, I come back & have a big list of things that I have actually done while not having access to the internet or power.
Power might be different - gets a bit dull during winter with no power I admit that ... I don't wish for that to happen often lol. But no internet gives a massive freedom or something to me. As long as I have the power/electricity I can go into my craft room & not come out for the entire day. I can actually FINISH many UFO's & WIP's lol. Believe me, there are a lot of them in that room! Go figure why the door stays shut - to hide it all! If I can't see it - does it exist? :oP
Another big thing that was mentioned on those 2 blogs that I read, "Kids wont be kids forever, they grow up and while I’m not going to miss it, I needed to take a look around.". It got me thinking. I'm not yet in the situation where I have that problem, mainly because Miss Abby is so young & is still sleeping a lot. Or maybe i'm using that as an excuse. Maybe the problem is me!
I have a phobia about going out of the house on my own with my daughter. Some, but not everyone knows this. I'm not talking about going to the letterbox - that's fine I don't have a problem with that. But where I live, it's fairly isolated. I don't drive, i'm deaf so I don't socialise with anyone around me. I don't know anyone. I don't have friends outside of facebook/ craft forums etc!
Miss Abby is now 14mths old & I can count the number of times I have taken her physically out of the house to the shops or out in the pram for a walk, with 1 hand! Baring in mind that i'm talking about when i'm on my own. When hubby is at work during the day. It is easier for me to just entertain her inside the house. We don't have a nice backyard, it's cold & doesn't get much sun at all - so I don't take her out there. I don't think she's actually ever been in the backyard come to think of it. There's a lot of steps leading down to the backyard & I guess i'm maybe just lazy. I don't even put the washing outside anymore - it just does into the spare room - which will be Abby's when the time comes.
So while my addiction to the internet /computer / facebook seems to take over my life, I do sit here & wonder how I can get away from it. But do I want to? Can I do it while knowing that it is actually here & its not broken or there is nothing preventing me from using it?
Maybe a lot of people don't know what I mean. I'm sure a lot of people use their phones to contact friends & family etc. I don't. My email & my texting is my only form of communication with anyone. And in reality the only person I email is my Mum & my hubby when he's at work & I want to talk. Other than that it's Facebook which is my door to the world & communicating. So can I give it up? Or do I want to? I'm not sure.
I have stopped playing my games as much as I did, but that time now gets taken up with googling & surfing the net. Finding new ideas & patterns etc that I "Could" make, if I ever got off the bloody computer.
I'd like to be able to say that in 30 days time I could blog to update & say that I have been offline more. That I have been outside more & taken my daughter to the shops etc. But I don't think it will happen. Not just yet anyway :o(
Maybe it's my depression. It certainly doesn't help my depression by sitting here all the time i'm sure. Not getting any sun during the day - mind you it's hard to find ANY sun at the moment. Where I live it's very covered as we are in the national park.
I dunno, maybe it's all just more & more excuses. Maybe I secretly like being a type 1 diabetic, suffering depression & being deaf. Maybe they are all such good excuses for being who I am & acting the way I do.
Maybe I just need a F%&^ing life! Whatever it is, I hope that it will go away & that I won't hurt my daughters upbringing by abandoning her or by not being 'present' when she needs me.
Happy crafting!